


Side Effects

by laugh_a_latte



Series: Side Effects [2]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Character Study, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Squip, soft angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 12:16:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18850891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laugh_a_latte/pseuds/laugh_a_latte
Summary: Jeremy starts to notice weird side effects of being Squipped. The trouble is, he isn't Squipped anymore, so why is it still affecting him like this?(Russian translation by wallie.txt on fibook.net available!)





	Side Effects

**Author's Note:**

> Part TWO of the Side Effects Series! Please read part one if you have not- it will greatly enhance your experience reading this one lol thank you!
> 
> Part one: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18664795
> 
> Now translated into RUSSIAN by the amazing wallie.txt on ficbook! They kindly translated the whole Side Effects series, so HUGE thank you!!  
> https://ficbook.net/readfic/8383364

The first time Jeremy notices something wrong is when he can’t remember Michael’s birthday. They’re at Seven Eleven and Jeremy is paying, but he can’t remember his PIN. Michael has to enter it, reminding him that their PINs are each others birthdays. Michael takes him to change it the next day, and it's one of the worst days Jeremy can remember, but Jeremy thinks that’s that.

The second time Jeremy notices something off is when he’s playing Legend of Zelda on Michael’s NES.

Michael is typing furiously away on his laptop, trying to cram three weeks of work into one night so he can finish his research paper in time. So Jeremy’s keeping him company, playing single player.

Jeremy and Michael have played through that game probably hundreds of times, meaning they’ve used the same cheat codes so many times that they didn’t have to look them up anymore.

But Jeremy can’t remember.

“Hey.”

“Hm?”

“What’s the cheat code for being invincible?” Jeremy asks.

Michael’s desk is right next to the TV, so Jeremy has a clear view of Michael’s back, and although he can’t see his face, he just knows he said something wrong. Michael remains silent, but Jeremy sees how his shoulders stiffen and how Michael starts rubbing at his temple.

Jeremy’s heart rate picks up. What did he say wrong this time?

Then, Michael stands up and walks straight out of the room, his socked feet thumping lightly up the stairs.

Jeremy glances back and forth between the door and Michael’s open laptop, wondering what just happened and what the hell he did wrong.

Jeremy shakes his head, throws the controller down, and trails after Michael.

Jeremy finds him in the kitchen, pouring a cup of coffee.

“Dude, it’s eleven at night,” he says, staring at the mug Michael is now coddling.

“Did you know that auditory hallucinations are a side effect of sleep deprivation?” Michael responds. Jeremy shifts his weight from foot to foot.

“No?”

“I read an article about it a few weeks ago.” Michael looks up from his mug to Jeremy.

Michael shakes his head slightly and blinks a few times. His eyebrows are drawn together, like he’s thinking through something, or processing new information. Or maybe he’s just tired.

“Have . . . You been sleeping?” Jeremy asks, trying not to get too freaked at Michael’s expression.

“Um. Not really, not last night, but now I think I’m hearing things,” Michael shakes his head again and sighs. “Anyways.”

“Maybe if you stopped drinking coffee at eleven at night your insomnia would get better.”

“I don’t have insomnia,” Michael rolls his tired eyes and pushes past Jeremy.

Jeremy looks to the ceiling and sighs.

He returns to the basement to find Michael staring longingly at his laptop, holding his mug about an inch from his mouth with both hands. He's rubbing circles around the sky blue ceramic with his thumb. His favorite mug, Jeremy thinks. 

“You okay, man?” Jeremy asks. Michael blinks back at him, rubbing at an eye.

“Yeah, just tired.” 

_That’s because you never sleep_ is what Jeremy doesn’t say.

“Okay,” Jeremy fell back into the beanbag. “But, like. Do you know the invincibility cheat?”

“ _Fuck!_ ” Michael gasps, jumping in the corner of Jeremy’s eye. Jeremy looks over fully to see him standing up from his chair, looking down at his shirt, which is covered in coffee.

“You okay?” Jeremy throws the controller down and assesses situation. Michael doesn’t look to be in any pain, aside from the red pinky finger he has in his mouth.

“Yeah—No. I mean,” Michael shakes his head again and lets out this odd laugh, like he just can’t believe it. “Well, I just spilled my coffee all over myself, so that’s lovely. And on the bright side, I’m not hearing things!" Michael looks over Jeremy. "So you really did forget the Zelda code, Jere?”

Jeremy’s chest tightens.

“Sorry,” he replies, because by the way Michael’s talking he can tell he's done something wrong. He frowns down at the stains on Michael’s shirt, feeling awful.

“Bud, you’re fine,” Michael sighs. “It’s just, um. That invincibility code is your favorite. Jeremy, that’s our favorite Zelda cheat. And . . .” The smile left over from Michael’s weird laugh slowly drops. “You don’t remember, do you?”

Jeremy’s chest begins to hurt worse, and he can’t look at Michael anymore. He looks at the controller on ground, instead. The blue glow from the TV is making it glow.

Jeremy swallows to keep his breathing even. No, he is not about to freak over this.

“I don’t remember.”

The Squip never let him play Zelda.

The third time Jeremy notices something off is when he decides he should do something about it. 

Jeremy is staring at the locker. He needs to borrow Michael’s algebra book. He lost his at the beginning of the year and has been taking pictures of Michael’s book in the mean time. Well, except for when the Squip was able to find the book in whatever database and give Jeremy the answers anyways. But now he has an open book test, and no Squip (thank god). And he needs a book.

It’s not the first time he’s borrowed Michael’s books. Michael borrows his all the time. After all, they know each other’s locker combinations by heart.

Or, at least, that’s what Jeremy thought. Because now his fingers are on Michael’s lock, and they’re sweating rather a lot, and he can’t remember how his combination goes.

In the end he just takes the test without a book, and fails miserably.

Jeremy lets himself into Michael’s house a few hours after school gets out. He says hi to Mrs. Mell, home early from work.

“Basement,” she says. Like Michael would be anywhere else.

Jeremy thumps down the stairs to find Michael laying on his bed upside down, his head hanging over the side, in the depths of concentration. The original Sonic game is flashing on the screen. Jeremy watches Michael for a moment. He doesn’t seem to have registered Jeremy yet. His glasses are slowly sliding from his face.

“What are you doing?”

“Uh,” Michael pauses the game, and looks at Jeremy. “It’s getting too easy, so I thought I’d add a new layer of difficulty.”

Jeremy shakes his head at Michael’s proud smile. Michael rolls over, and sits up, then winces. “Oh my God, headrush,” He flops back on the bed, hands over his face. “Oh, man.”

“You’re so stupid,” Jeremy says, pushing him over.

Michael looks between his fingers.

Ever since Jeremy got out of the hospital, Michael’s eyes have been so guarded. Where he would once push Jeremy right back and call him stupider, his eyes dancing with laughter, there’s now this split second of assessment, like he’s trying to figure out if Jeremy means it, before he rolls those eyes and responds.

And it’s ridiculous, because of course Jeremy doesn’t mean it, and that new hesitation hurts. Because Jeremy knows it’s his fault Michael is like that now. So, he doesn’t mention it, and he tries not to notice.

After that second, Michael shoves Jeremy back. “Well, you’re mega-stupid.”

Jeremy snorts and falls back on the bed with Michael, who stretches his arms above his head with a groan.

“Wanna play Smash Bros?” Michael asks.

Jeremy exhales, letting all the weirdness of the day go. “Yeah.”

Michael rolls off the bed. “Gamecube or 64?”

“You choose." Jeremy is too busy staring at a dot on the ceiling. He listens to Michael change some cords around near the TV. Must be Gamecube, then.

“It happened again today,” Jeremy says to the dot.

“What?”

“I forgot something that I know I know,” Jeremy rubs at his forehead, trying to ease the tension there.

The sounds of Michael’s movement stop. “Oh,” he says, voice pitching up ever so slightly. Jeremy wrinkles his nose. The sounds start up again. “What was it?”

“Um, your locker combination,” Jeremy mumbles, feeling mega-stupid.

“Well, that’s not so bad,” Michael says. Jeremy hears the Gamecube start up jingle.

“I failed my math test.”

Jeremy hears Michael insert the disk, then he claps his hands. Michael likes to do that after he finishes setting up a game. He claps the non-existent dust off his hands. 

It’s something he’s done since always, and Jeremy's throat tightens unexpectedly at the sound, because he can remember that. It's little, and stupid, and so trivial, but it's something.

And he can’t help but wonder what other things about Michael he might have forgotten. Little things, like their favorite cheat code, or big things like birthdays. And when he’ll realize he's forgotten again.

He blinks up at the ceiling. He hates not knowing, because every time it happens, it feels like the first, and the panic flares up in his chest because he just can't remember.

Jeremy presses his palms into his eyes. He feels Michael fall into the bed space next to him.

“You good?”

Jeremy swallows hard and drops his hands. “No.”

Michael looks back the ceiling with him, silent.

Jeremy hates regret. He hates this feeling so much, but he lets it wash over him, anyways.

He needs to do something about this.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, to be continued!  
> (Also shoutout to all of you guys for your amazing comments on my last few fics. They give me the motivation to keep writing my weird ideas! <3 Thank you!)


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